Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
