the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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