Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
