But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
