Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
