grandma shit on top of the toilet
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
