i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
