Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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