I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just cut my nipple shaving
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
