Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
