just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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