thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
