He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
