if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
