What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize