literally had 100 drinks last night.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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