He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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