i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
