NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
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Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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