Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
