why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
