No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
