By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
