If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
