I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
