He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize