He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize