I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
