I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
