Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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