we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
