i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
do nipples grow back?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
