I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I enjoy the company of your penis
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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