Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
