I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
