def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
