I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
