i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
