so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
