you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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