She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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