it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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