I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
