You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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