Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
