you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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