Small penises have feelings too.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
