can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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