I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
