Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize