I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
