i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize