you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
