the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
