For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I could fuck to npr.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
